


DAII: So The Story Goes

by bioticbootyshaker



Category: Dragon Age
Genre: Crack Pairing, F/M, M/M, Multi, Slash, Threesome - F/M/M, blowjob
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-31
Updated: 2012-08-31
Packaged: 2017-11-13 06:51:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/500692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bioticbootyshaker/pseuds/bioticbootyshaker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Varric asks Fenris for a favor and everything gets out of control.</p>
            </blockquote>





	DAII: So The Story Goes

When someone tried to find the beginning of a chain of events, everything always got messy. There was never a clear trail back to where everything had started; no line of bread crumbs that would guide a person to that monumental moment where they had made the _absolute worst choice they could have ever made_.

If Fenris had a crossbow pointed to his head and was forced to pick one moment that had led to where he currently was, he would have decided on when he had said ‘yes’ to attending Aveline’s birthday party. 

She was reaching an age of some importance, though it wasn’t one she felt comfortable sharing with anyone. Donnic remained tight-lipped on the subject, preferring to offer all of the guests drinks and snacks instead. His wife, on the other hand, openly challenged anyone who tried to guess her age with physical abuse. By the time Fenris found a quiet, semi-darkened corner to scurry off to, Aveline had Hawke’s head in her arm and was shouting that no, she wasn’t that old and how _dare _he.__

“Forty isn’t so terrible,” Varric said. Fenris thought the corner was empty, but there the dwarf was, with a glass in his hand that held the remnants of strong ale. “I don’t know why she’s making such a big deal out of it. Oh, probably a human thing I guess. They never like to get old. Or even approaching old. Or even _almost_ approaching old.”

“Forty is old?” Fenris asked. “I see now why they cause so much trouble. They’re scurrying around trying to pack a lot of life into a handful of years.”

“Bullshit,” Varric said with a laugh. “They cause so much trouble because they can. But then you have humans like Hawke who try to fix everything and sometimes manage to do an okay job. But as far as I’m concerned, Broody, there’s a lot less action around here since Hawke came to town. Now, mind you, I’m not saying I _prefer_ Kirkwall as a shit hole---”

“Yes you do,” Fenris murmured.

“Alright, fine, I do, but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate Hawke and his particular brand of justice. I mean, some of these things he gets into even _I_ couldn’t make up.” Varric looked down into his glass, seeming to notice for the first time that it was nothing but ice. He clucked his tongue but made no move to refresh his drink. “All I’m saying is that sometimes the people want something _other_ than bravery and swordfights. Sometimes they want something that Hawke can’t really give to them.”

“Such as?” Fenris asked.

“Wouldn’t discuss that in such a public place,” Varric sound, sounding deeply offended. “Who do you take me for, Messere?”

“A little dwarf without an ounce of shame.”

“You would be right, then,” Varric chuckled. “But, you know, sometimes a man has to have at least an _ounce_ of shame, or he’d never get anything done. Tell you what, Broody, you really want to know, you stop by my room at the Hanged Man tomorrow night.”

Against his better judgment, Fenris agreed that he’d drop in to see him. After all, how did he know what the dwarf would want, or what would happen? He saw Varric in his room at least twice a week for drinks and Diamondback. 

It wasn’t a big deal. 

***

Isabela was at her usual spot when Fenris entered the Hanged Man. She tipped him a wink as he passed by. Feeling in fine spirits for a change, Fenris reached out and goosed her, letting Isabela’s laughter follow him up the stairs and into Varric’s private room.

“There you are,” Varric said.

“I did not know you were expecting me at a certain hour,” Fenris said, taking a seat at the long table that dominated the center of the room. Varric took a seat beside him and spread out a bit of parchment in front of him. He handed Fenris a quill pen and pushed the vial of ink closer to him. Looking satisfied with himself, Varric leaned back with his hands behind his head.

“And what am I supposed to do with these?” Fenris asked. “You are the writer, Varric, not me. I can barely write my own name.”

“Hawke tells me you’re quite the artist though,” Varric said, “I want you to draw something. _Anything_. And I’ll write something to match. The two of us could go into business or something. Stories have their power, but so do pictures. Put them together and there’s nothing people won’t want to believe.”

“I’m supposed to do this _because_?” Fenris asked, side-eyeing the dwarf. He would talk to Hawke later about his loose tongue. 

“Just consider it a favor for a friend,” Varric said. “We _are_ friends, aren’t we Broody? I mean, I thought we were... But if you can’t do a simple thing like this I suppose I must’ve been mistaken. Oh, well, I’ll just---”

“Quit your blubbering,” Fenris muttered, pressing the tip of the pen to the paper, “No one wants to see a dwarf cry.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Varric said, “Plenty of people _want_ to see a dwarf cry, but no one ever _has_. Which is probably why they want it so bad.”

“Do you want me to do this or do you want to talk?” Fenris asked.

“Sorry,” Varric said, smiling. 

***  
“I give you an hour and this is what you give me?”

“Is there something wrong with it?”

Varric squinted at the paper before turning his narrowed eyes on Fenris. “I don’t even  
know what it _is._ ”

“It’s supposed to be... well... _cute_. You see, that is me.” Fenris tapped the drawing before sliding his finger over to the other figure on the paper, “And that is the mage.”

“You’re, what, kissing him?” Varric asked.

Fenris’ eyes widened. “ _No_. I have my hand buried in his chest.”

“Cute,” Varric muttered.

Fenris didn’t know what Varric had wanted. If there was a story that needed to be told, or at least one that Fenris would have enjoyed imagining, it was Anders having his heart crushed. What more did a story need than an abomination dying a painful death? Varric could tell it whatever way he wished, with as much or as little flowery prose as he desired; all that mattered to Fenris was that Anders would at least be dead _fictionally_. 

“I was hoping for something a little less... Mmm... _ragey_ , actually.” Varric said. He pushed the paper away and scratched the back of his head. “You see, well, me and Rivaini kind of had this little wager that said she couldn’t shack up with the Seneschal and the Viscount’s boy on the same night and---”

“You lost,” Fenris said.

“How was I supposed to know she’d bed them both _together_? That really cut down on time. I can’t prepare for every eventuality.”

“And this wager included me?” Fenris asked. “Typical. The both of you are always involving others in your silly little games.”

“She wants us to put her together a story. And, uh, it’s not going to be one where you put your fist in the mage. At least not... the way you’re used to.”

Fenris considered that for a moment before his eyes widened and he snatched up the drawing from Varric. “Tell her I am not included in this little bargain of yours,” Fenris snapped, moving towards the door, “I will not be used as the butt of one of your juvenile jokes.”

“Broody, wait,” Varric said, snagging the elf’s elbow as he moved past. “Come on. What would it hurt you to draw a little saucy picture or two?”

Fenris jerked his arm out of Varric’s hand. “It would hurt me none, but that doesn’t mean I want to sit here all night huddled over a table drawing... _that_ with you. I have far better things to do with my time.”

When Fenris was almost out the door Varric stopped him. He should have kept moving. He should have left and not looked back, perhaps giving Isabela a much deserved glare on the way out of the tavern. But no, hindsight was twenty-twenty and foresight was blind. Fenris stopped and looked over his shoulder at the dwarf.

“What if I made it worth your while?” Varric asked.

Blighted _dwarves_. 

***

The girl said her name was Anais. One look at her and Fenris regretted the ‘favor’ Varric had offered in exchange for his services. She was young and slim and pretty, with red hair wound up in tight curls and big green eyes that looked as though they were made of glass. 

He couldn’t put his hands on such an innocent little girl. 

And then she was under the table as he tried to draw Isabela’s ridiculous ‘story’ with his dick in her mouth, and Fenris didn’t think she was an innocent little girl at all. 

Keeping his composure was difficult with her tongue sliding up and down his cock and her little mouth sucking his cockhead. Fenris grunted, reaching under the table to slide his fingers through her curls. That was when things went from pleasantly uncomfortable to downright _strange_. 

Varric nibbled his ear.

“What are you doing?” Fenris growled. 

Anais lifted off of his cock, thumping her head on the underside of the table.

“No, no, not you,” Fenris said, tightening his hand in her hair and pulling her mouth down on his cock. He shivered and looked at Varric from the corner of his eye. “I did not agree to let you put your mouth on me, Varric. I don’t---”

“If I’m going to write this thing, I need some _realism_ ,” Varric said, “Rivaini specifically wanted an elf as the main love interest. How am I supposed to write that when I’ve never even been with one? You think I just make these stories up out of thin air?”

“Yes,” Fenris said. 

Anais hummed as she lowered on his dick, and his hand shifted to the back of her neck to massage. “Mmmn... Just... do what you need to do.” Fenris had stopped caring at that point. He was sitting there with a pen in his hand and a woman under the table sucking him off; there really was no line left to cross. 

He tried to keep his hand steady as Varric let his tongue run over his ear. He tried even harder when the dwarf slipped under the table and there were _two_ tongues flicking and twirling over his cock. Fenris was only a man, however, and he was forced to lean back and enjoy the feeling of their mouths running along the sides of his cock and their tongues fighting over the head, both of them trying to lick up his pre-come.

“Hnn, fuck,” Fenris growled, working his hips slowly, not knowing which tongue belonged to which person and not really caring. He imagined Isabela would have rather watched what they were doing then than read their silly little story, but as she had been the one to get him into the mess to begin with, Fenris found it difficult to feel sorry for her. 

Fenris grabbed the table and bucked his hips, fucking someone’s warm, wet mouth. Again, he didn’t know who was swallowing his cock and he didn’t care. The heat built up in his stomach and shot like an arrow through the rest of his body, pumping through his blood, pounding through his heart. He knocked over the ink and sent it spilling over the paper.

He didn’t care.

There was a low, keening noise in Fenris’ chest, climbing up his throat and tumbling from his lips. He trembled and jerked as he came, filling the mouth of whoever was down there in that dark space.

Anais came out first, collected her coin and left.

Varric crawled out after her, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Andraste’s girdle, you could give some warning.”

Fenris sank down into the chair, feeling pleasantly content. His face was flushed and his trousers were pooled around his ankles.

He didn’t care.

“I’m afraid I’ve ruined our project,” Fenris murmured, gesturing to the paper covered in the sea of ink. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” Isabela said from the doorway, “That was never the real project anyway.”

She and Varric laughed together.

Fenris never went to another birthday party.

**Author's Note:**

>  **Title:** So The Story Goes  
>  **Word Count:** 2109  
>  **Rating:** M  
>  **Warnings:** Partial nudity, sexual content  
>  **Disclaimer:** Dragon Age II (c) Bioware  & EA
> 
> An anon asked for Varric/Fenris for Fenris Porn Week on tumblr.  
> I'm sorry.


End file.
